okelevator (okelevator) wrote,

i can laugh all i want, inside i still am empty



some days i will be walking home or up some stairs and i will stop and think, "it is really fucking pointless to keep going."

or i think about how my mom could've had an abortion

or if i was born into a different family

or if she didn't hate me so much

or if i could just FIX the scar tissue formerly known as my heart.

i am sick of let downs. and i want to meet my real dad and know why he had to be my first let down. that makes me so fucking angry.

oh and im still in florida. we were supposed to leave today, but we had a flight to dc that connected to our flight to vegas, and the dc flight got cancelled because hello all the flooding there. that we didnt know about because we're on vacation and havent watched the news. and i want to be home so i can just kind of curl up in a corner and cry a whole lot.
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